The List

Before my wife and I became parents, we bought groceries once a month.  We would plan out our meals weeks in advance and limit impulse purchases by limiting our exposure to temptation.  This budget-friendly strategy worked well for us until we became parents.  Somewhere between the second and third trimester, this system collapsed entirely.  Stubbornly, we held on to our belief that we could get back into this routine, even months after the twinks were born.  Peace eventually was made with the evolution of our grocery-buying to weekly expeditions.  I say expeditions because I believe the shear volume of stuff necessary for those outings early on demands a grander connotation than 'trip' can afford.  In more recent history, grocery trips with the whole family meant two carts (a girl in each) following mommy as she deftly maneuvered through aisles with a purpose and The List.  The List is the magical thing my wife produces every week when we get to the store that tells us exactly what we need to get through the following week.  No one knows where the list comes from but it mysteriously knows what is missing in the pantry and the fridge, what holiday or birthday is coming up, as well as any vague suggestions I may have thrown out on a whim throughout the week (someone was actually listening when I said that?).  The list gets us through the nonfood section, and methodically steers us through the canned, boxed, frozen and fresh produce to end right back at the checkouts.  This experience typically lasts less than two hours and gets us home in time for lunch and naps.  If my wife goes alone (sans noisy wiggly entourage of children and husband) she can do it in an hour and a half and still apologizes for taking so long.  I recently had the opportunity to go all my my big self-sort of like a grown up.  Took me over two hours.  I was even handed a list.  It's not like I was pokey about it, I just had no idea where to find some of the things on the list.  Not wanting to come home with a partially crossed-off list, I spent half an hour looking for one thing (never found it), and another half hour looking for another thing (never found it, don't think it exists.  Maybe my wife thought she was being funny putting it on the list).  In all honesty, if my wife didn't hand me a list, I would come home with milk, cereal and trash bags.
That should last us the week.  It is getting better with me being home with the girls full time.  I get a much better feel of what we have used and what we will need as I prepare most of the meals.  A big category that gives me little trouble at the store: snacks.  And by that I mean anything the girls will eat for any of three or four non-meal meals a day.  I've read that it's healthy for toddlers and anyone worried about their metabolism to eat five times a day, but I think my kids are each about to sprout a third foot as much as they are eating and sleeping.  I'm confident I'll get better with groceries the more I am left to be responsible for them.  I'm sure my kids will continue to burn through teddy grahams and apples and mandarin oranges, and someday they will start soccer and I'll have to go for groceries twice a week.  Until then, I am grateful for many things, not least among them my wife, and of course, the list.